Leaves falling, trees going bare. Nature turning bleak and cold before snow covers the greyness for months. I've been feeling bleak and cold too, wanting the duvet to cover me like a soft cocoon, begging for hibernation so that I can wake up to a new spring where everything will be all right.
I don't think I've ever been this exhausted - and worried - in my whole life, but slowly things are getting back to "normal." I've been pushing aside ordinary everyday duties, just barely managing to do the most necessary stuff, but now it's catching-up time. With friends, with reading, with work, with bills - with generally sorting out my life - the way we all do.
My husband and I go for short walks in the park. He's impatient and wants to recover in a flash, but unfortunately it's not as easy as that. He's in for a long convalescence period, and that means relying on Sophie, Johanne and me for taking him around and driving him places. Tough for a man who's usually less dependent on others than most people!
Last weekend it was time for my annual autumn girls' trip to my friend's beautiful cabin in the mountains - at a ski resort called Beitostølen. It's a fantastic area - but then again there's a mountain practically around every bend in Norway! My daughters sent me off with their blessings, saying it was good for me to get away, so I did - and my three good friends and I enjoyed ourselves with excellent food and wine and conversation for the 26th time. (We meet up regularly the rest of the year, of course, but the September/October trip is a big tradition, never to be skipped). A thin white layer of snow covered the ground on Saturday morning, and it looks hauntingly and deceivingly pretty in the photo, but alas. Within a few hours it started raining and it turned to just the kind of slush that I detest!
No winter yet in Oslo though, in fact it's quite warm. That's fine with me.
On the way home on Sunday I stopped at this inviting little delicatessen by the roadside - called Villfisken (The Wild Fish) - where they sell the most delicious fish! I bought herb-smoked trout, garlic-smoked trout, hot-smoked trout with pine nuts, herring marinated in sherry sauce, crayfish salad, and homemade mustard sauce. When I brought this home to my daughters and granddaughters they almost attacked the carrier bag, knowing already how these goodies taste. Villfisken is renowned for genuine Norwegian produce and has received fantastic reviews in food magazines and TV cookery programmes.
Today I had to throw out some of the flower bouquets that we've received over the last few weeks, but believe it or not - when we arrived home this afternoon there was a new one on the door! From yet another good friend wishing my husband a speedy recovery. It never ceases to amaze me how thoughtful and caring people are. Two visitors came round this morning, one this evening. And this colourful card from a cousin in New Zealand suddenly brought back memories of our visit to Auckland in 2006!
"Auckland" by Eric Heath
Our hosts (the cousin and wife) said to Sophie - then 15 years old - "what would you like to do on your first day in New Zealand?" Having heard of NZ as The Heaven of Adventure Sports, she replied without hesitation: "Bungy jumping!" I felt my heart sink and my pulse started to race. But our hospitable hosts made arrangements, and a few hours later she was jumping off the Sky Tower, 328 metres high, while I was in the bar on the ground floor, throwing back a glass of wine to calm my wrecked nerves. (This is not bungy jumping as such - the jumper is connected to some sort of wires, but it's SCARY ENOUGH)!!!
With things slowly getting back to normal again in our little household, I ventured out today for some lunch, a Latte and a tiny bit of shopping. On offer in our nearby shopping centre was this "Statement" necklace, which is the hugest fashion hype these days. Of course I needed one! (Hmmm... looks more expensive than it is - metal and material interwoven).
So yes. Climbing slowly back to normality. Though not quite, as the whole family's going to a long meeting on Friday at the hospital regarding treatments to come. Information is important for all of us, not least to learn about what side effects to expect.
Normality - or maybe not. Our lives are forever changed. This is something we'll be learning to deal with too.
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