HUMBLENESS

I am always intrigued by the way devout religious people believe theirs is the only true faith, whether it is Christianity, Islam, Judaism, well, you name it. How can they be so sure? I am never sure of anything in life, so how could I ever claim that my views are the truth? How can we possibly know whether it is the Bible or the Koran that shows us the way to eternal afterlife? Or if indeed there is an afterlife?

In my last blog post I felt the need to philosophise a little bit on my own humble thoughts of God, and to my surprise and joy I received an enormous response, perhaps the most I've had during my one and a half years of blogging. It makes me so pleased that these ramblings of mine touch other people's hearts and that they go through similar explorations.

Though I'm basically a peace loving and conflict shy person I'll never back away from a discussion on religion. (I learnt while I lived in England - never converse on religion and politics! Did they say "sex" too? I can't remember…)

I stumble and fumble through my own existentialism, maybe more so now than ever before, but I know this: I will always strive to be a better person. As Jesus is the one religious figure I was brought up with (according to my general childhood Protestantism), I believe he really did strive towards that goal. At least this is what I remember from school Bible lessons. He was generous, lenient, tolerant and loving. He met strangers with an open heart.

Now this is where my logical sense literally crash-lands. I have met many devout believers who are totally intolerant, blindly dogmatic and uncompromisingly faithful to the Bible. Or… I think they make the words of the Bible fit with their own terrain. I cannot see that they live by Jesus' words of unconditional love. Then I've met atheists who are humble, empathic, loving and set tolerance first, and they do plenty of charity. They are much more Jesus-like than those devout Christian believers. Of course this is not categoric in any way.

A devout Christian explained this to me: "It's about salvation. Your deeds are only a minor part of it, because God forgives whatever you do or don't do as long as you BELIEVE and have welcomed Jesus into your heart.." I think she even came up with the percentage of deeds versus faith and salvation. This makes no sense to me. I'll go with the good deeds any day, and so would Jesus, I think.

Angels in the sky? Or God?

I think of these questions a lot nowadays. During the abundant newspaper weekend my eyes skimmed an article on the lack of humbleness in our society. Yes! It struck me! Humbleness is not being servile or stupid or low in confidence. It's got nothing to do with deprecating yourself or belittling your personality or feeling low and humiliated. Humbleness is simply the opposite of arrogance and pride. Humbleness has to do with meeting other people with respect. I suddenly remembered this as one of my father's main guidelines. And he's maybe the strongest and most assertive person I've ever known, but at the same time he was tolerant and openhearted and not least adventurous.

And talking about praying and believing. Though he died nineteen years ago my Dad is still such a big part of my life. I sit at his grave every once in a while and ask his advice - as I used to do when he was alive. Hmm…. Does he answer me? Yes and no. All I know is that I leave his grave feeling appeased.

My Dad

New York 1958

A busy week ahead of us in this little family - doctor's appointment tomorrow morning to prescribe new chemo. Cortisone not working. Hairdresser's for me in the afternoon - always therapy and much needed now! I look like someone out of Harry Potter - and I don't mean one of the good characters… (Halloween coming up soon and I could join without a costume)… Then meeting to sign over to us the new flat on Tuesday morning - not having to pay for it yet though, fortunately - later on dentist appointment for my husband Tuesday afternoon. And THEN!! Leaving on a jet plane for Bulgaria at 0610h Wednesday morning. Yes. Believe it or not. Wheelchair booked at the airport, both when leaving and arriving back in ten days. This is what my husband wants, so this is what I want. Simple as that. Best friend Svein is coming too, and daughter Sophie.

We are going to have a good holiday. Now is the time that we do whatever we want to do.

Badly in need of hair treatment

Cat enjoying new recliner

Sunrise from my Bulgarian balcony. Sunrise you ask?