WRAPPING UP CHRISTMAS

During our celebration of Christmas and the New Year I usually take a little time to reminisce - either alone or together with the family - about previous celebrations. I think I do this because Christmas rituals are always the same, always traditional - and important for precisely that reason. Our rituals tell us that some things never change, and there's comfort in this. So at one point my mind will wander to those times I've celebrated Christmas in other countries, where my parents made sure the warmth and happiness of our usual traditions surrounded us, even though we were far away from home.

Above is a photo of a diary page, written by me (14 years old) on December 24 1969 at 11.53 pm, in Dar-es-Salaam, Tanzania:

"Only 7 more minutes to go before it is Christmas Day.
I suppose you can guess why I'm up late. We've had a lovely evening. First a great turkey dinner and then some cool presents. I just loved everything I got. I got three plays by Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar", "As You Like It" and "Romeo and Juliet." Then I got an Oxford Dictionary, a cool hairbrush and a brown kitenge dress, just the kind of material I wanted. And I got the LP "Hair" which is really beautiful. All this was from the family, but there was one special present from Harald, a most beautiful horse's head which he had made out of clay. I wonder how he can do it! It's so natural, just like a real one. He could just as well sell it and earn lots on it. But I'm so glad he gave it to me. Lori had also given me a present, a turquoise mini glook which will remind me of her.
We went to church today. It was a Scandinavian assembly, but an American pastor, the Rev. R. Englund. He is Harald's baseball coach."

So funny, so great to read again…. Talk about sibling love! (Harald is my brother). And look - I've still got my Shakespeare plays!

Another Christmas in a foreign land - Kuwait 1974

This Christmas we had a few dialogues at home about the shopping madness that goes on during the pre-Christmas days. My diary entry certainly proves that forty-four years ago teenagers' expectations of gifts were much lower, but then again this was well before the "electronic age."

I had no energy for Christmas shopping this year, so all I managed was to buy some gift cards for my granddaughters. The whole idea of going out and spending lots of money and time on presents somehow seemed a bit pointless this Christmas, with so much else going on in our little family. I've said to my daughters that after my husband has finished his second period of chemotherapy in March, and has had his first brain scan to establish how the treatments have worked - then! Yes, then…. we'll all have a holiday in France together.

A strong sense of wistfulness came over me the other day while I was removing our Christmas decorations. Wrapping them up in plastic bags, stowing them away for the thirty-first time in this house, knowing that the next time they'll be used we are in another home - our new flat.

And perhaps this wistfulness is intensified by the present uncertainty of what our future holds in store for us. No one knows what the future will bring, of course - this is part of our humanness - but I feel that our future has never been as untouchable, as unreachable or as inaccessible as it is now. It's simply one big black hole.

Still, we had a wonderful New Year's Eve and walked out into our street at midnight, as always, to welcome 2014. The fog had lifted, and we spotted some fantastic fireworks and raised our champagne glasses to wish each other a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

And a Happy New Year to you too, my readers. I'm so pleased you've followed me for a whole year already and I know you'll continue to journey with me throughout 2014. Let's hope this year will turn out not to be that black hole after all.