Last week was half-term school holiday here in Oslo, and I invited my daughter Johanne and the two granddaughters on a two-day cruise to Kiel, Germany. Lucky granddaughters! For the first half of the week-long holiday they stayed with their other grandparents in Nordland, in the north of Norway, where they enjoyed themselves immensely, shopping, going to the movies, meeting relatives, eating fantastic food - and as grandmother Gudrun said: Also simply doing nothing. Which is a great clue to how to enjoy yourself with grandchildren - leave them alone every once in a while, let them (and yourself) get on with those small insignificant everyday things, whatever they may be. (I for one am such a bad, lazy and self-absorbed Granny that I may easily agree to hours of TV, internet surfing, social media contact and staying up late. "Can I please turn the light off and go to sleep now, Mimmi?")
Kiel docks in sunlight! I think this is a first - and I have been to this harbour town approximately 50 times...
Only four hours off the ship in Kiel - just enough time to have a delicious Prosecco breakfast and do a bit of shopping in the pedestrian area - then back onboard for some more tastes of luxury. It's funny how quickly you get used to that luxury feeling. And these were only two days! Imagine those loooong Caribbean cruises - day-in day-out of pure laziness! Here you can really talk about "doing nothing!" Well, come to think of it I was on a 3-week cruise myself 45 years ago - when I was 15 - and my parents nearly went bonkers with boredom, which I suppose is a good and healthy sign. But I loved it! As did my grandchildren on this very short one, and the minute we disembarked in Oslo - having been gone exactly 44 hours - granddaughter Mira wanted to re-board and do it all over again!
Ooo - that cruisin' feelin'
Massage with a view for Big Mama - Aqualand for the others...
Fresh strawberries, please
Dining in style...
… and not even managing to finish the ice lolly...
Well, after forty-four hours of delightful and delicious distraction it was back to reality and my roller coaster of emotions, my endless brainspin, my exhausting conflicting thoughts, my "mountain high and valley low."
On February 17 I drove my husband from Hospice Lovisenberg in Oslo straight to the Hospice in our new municipality of Bærum. We were told there was a long waiting list, but he must have been given priority. So this is where he is now, in a room the size of a small flat, with hotel standard and a terrace and a spare room (for me) and guess what?! Angels work here too. They must have a special angel-gene, these nurses and these volunteers. Never have I become so close so quickly to anyone in my whole life as I have to the wonderful human beings who work in the Hospices. And knowing they take such good care of my husband relieves me endlessly.
Yesterday my husband was supposed to go to the Radiation Hospital for a blood test because he is in the middle of his chemo cycle. In two weeks there's a new consultation with the doctor to decide on another round of chemo. In accordance with the Hospice doctor I did not take my husband for the blood test yesterday, because of the trauma of moving him, and I called the Hospital to cancel. The hospital doctor rang me right back, and in just a few minutes we agreed on this: No more cancer treatments, i.e. chemo, no more blood tests, no more brain scans.
This is it.
Spare room - thinking I'll spend the night here this weekend
My husband's room on the right. One of the common rooms on the left - you can spot my husband there, just after I left him this evening.
Or - then again, this is not it.
He's very much here still. This afternoon I visited him accompanied by his "second wife" - Turi, the wife of one of his best mates, who has known him much longer than I have, and who has become one of my very closest friends too. I honestly don't know what I would have done without her support. We sat with him for two hours and chatted, laughed and joked - and I'll say this: My husband's inherent sense of humour tells me over and over why I've loved him so much during all these thirty-four years. It says a lot about our relationship. He has always disarmed me - this crazy impulsive woman.
I sat with him for another hour. Feeding him. Guiding his hand to the wine glass. Noting the numbers he wants for his game coupons, Eurojackpot, Keno, the horses. (He remembers them by heart). Talking about this and that. Not talking. Hugging. Stroking. Chatting with the nurses who move quietly to and fro, in no hurry. Leaving at dusk to go home to my flat to talk to Sophie and eat something.
Tomorrow our fitted curtains will arrive, finally. So tired of being paranoid of everyone seeing me dance to Bryan Ferry's "Simple Twist of Fate" and Neil Young's "Harvest Moon." Well, as if I care.
I will describe the curtains to my husband tomorrow. But I do wish he could see them!
No curtains!
My Throwback Thursday photo posted on Instagram this evening. I simply love it!
For my gambling husband
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